


Making Peace with Myself

by Mari_UC



Series: BirdFlash - Young Justice [1]
Category: DCU, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birdflash (DickWally), Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 05:04:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mari_UC/pseuds/Mari_UC
Summary: “Ugh, do they have to do that here, in front of everyone?”He froze for a second taking in the sight and prayed he’d been misreading the situation. He looked around and saw that Artemis was indeed looking at the couple kissing. There was no doubt about it. The furrowed brow, the disgusting face, the angry look completely aimed at them. No… don’t… not you too.Wally closed his eyes he didn’t want to see the faces of his friends. The disgust painted in them at the sight of two man kissing.He couldn’t… He couldn’t see that.





	Making Peace with Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone,
> 
> This is my first Birdflash (DickWally) ever, so please be nice with it.
> 
> This takes place in the Young Justice (Cartoon) universe, although Wally's strained relationship with his parents comes from the comics (not the cause, though, that's 100% not canonical). This takes place between seasons 1 & 2, with Dick still being Robin.

 

“Ugh, do they have to do that here, in front of everyone?” Wally looked up to see what had Artemis angry.

She’d been on an especially nasty streak for the last couple of days, no one on the Team knew what was wrong, but after the first attempt to talk to her had resulted in a flaming arrow pointed at Kaldur, they’d decided to let her be and avoid her as much as possible.

But, today, they were on their first day off and it was the middle of summer, so they’d decided to take a swim and then walk down the pier and enjoying some nice snow cones. So, Wally wasn’t sure what had triggered her. He followed her line of sight and immediately wished he hadn’t.

He froze for a second taking in the sight and prayed he’d been misreading the situation and Artemis was mad about something else. Like the snow cone vendor making a green slush drink, or the empty trash can. Anything, but the gay couple sharing kisses on the sidewalk. _Please… let it not be this._

Wally felt his breath catch and instinctually slowed down time… or rather accelerated his own perception of it… He looked around and saw that Artemis was indeed looking at the couple kissing. There was no doubt about it. The furrowed brow, the disgusting face, the angry look completely aimed at them. _No… don’t… not you too._

He closed his eyes trying to control his heart beat and regulate his breathing. He looked to his friends. Kaldur was looking at Artemis questioningly, while Conner, Dick and Megan had followed her line of sight and were taking it in.

Wally closed his eyes, he didn’t want to see the faces of his friends. The disgust painted in them at the sight of two man kissing.

He couldn’t… He couldn’t see that.

He looked down at his snow cone. _What should he say? Should he say anything? What would a straight guy say? Would it look to odd if he simply didn’t comment?_

He decided to focus on his cone. It was mango. He liked mango.

Plus it was food. It wouldn’t look weird for him to focus on his food. He’d always could use his excuse of not paying attention. It always seemed to work. _There was nothing gay about not paying attention._

He sighed. He was overthinking it again. He decided to play it by ear and let himself relax back into normal-time.

So he took his wooden spoon thingy and shoved a considerable amount of Mango ice into his mouth. Hoping the topic would change. He didn’t liked when they fell on this kinds of topics. Not in the Cave. Not with his friends…

_Please… just let it go, Arty._

“The couple?” asked Dick frowning and looking at Artemis, and Wally wanted to hit his cru… his _best friend_. And then Artemis just snorted like the idea of two men being a couple was outrageous and it felt like his throat had gone dry and someone had sat on his chest. _Not you too, please._

“Is there something wrong?” Conner asked questioningly. Conner could move from being a walking encyclopedia of knowledge on one second, to being taken off-balance by common social interactions. It mostly depended on how close the interaction was to previous experiences or his programming. Wally briefly wondered how liberal had been Cadmus teachings about sexuality. With his luck, Conner considered himself a fundamental evangelist.

“Why do they have to do that here?” Artemis asked with obvious disdain and disgust in her voice, and the pressure in Wally’s chest increased tenfold. He imagined the same voice being directed at him. Artemis talking about that about Wally…

“Come on, Arty. They’re just having a nice time together.” Dick said, and Wally had to still his entire body not to look up at Dick for saying that. He sounded offended. He sounded hurt. Maybe Dick wouldn’t mind. Maybe he’d be like Uncle B and Aunt I. _Maybe he’ll still be my friend… If he finds out._

But he can’t find out.

None of them can. Wally couldn’t allow it to happen. It was why he acted how he acted. Why he overcompensated with continuous flirting. Why he kept at it, even if he made himself flinch every time he catcalled a woman or called Megan whatever stupid name came into his mind… Which was why Dick was going to hate him as soon as he’d found out. That he’d _lied_. That he’d _kept on lying_ for the whole four years they’ve known each other.

Artemis sighed “They can have a nice time together, someplace else. Privately” Wally had to stop his hand from shaking by shoving the rest of the snow cone into his mouth. He felt a little angry at that, but mostly he felt sick at his stomach. The guys weren’t doing anything outrageous.

Ok, _mayb_ e they’re taking the whole _alone-in-the-world_ thing a little too seriously and _maybe_ the soft moans were a little over the top; but they were over there, doing their thing.

_Why can’t she let them be?_

“Do you want us to go?” asked Kaldur and Wally had to force his hands not to make fists. _No he didn’t. He didn’t wanted to go._

“No. We’re not going anywhere.” Dick said strongly, challenging anyone to counter, and then he looked up letting the sun bathe on his face. “It’s nice here.” Wally couldn’t control his smile as he allowed himself a microsecond in speed-time to take in the sight of Dick looking up to the sky, letting his skin shine. Wally let his eyes absorb every little aspect of his face, his nose, and the shape of his eyelashes, now slightly visible under the sunglasses thanks to the angle of his head.

He memorized the small scars scattered just under the neck, the barely visible apple. His overly large ears that were starting to look shorter as Dick got the early stages of his final stretch.

He let every single detail be catalogued in his brain before quickly looked back down, before any of his friends caught the stolen glance.

It… It was enough. This was enough for him. Being close to them. Having friends that liked every other aspect of his life. Having people he could count on. No questions asked.

Hiding this small part of himself wasn’t unlike Dick hiding his name or not revealing his face.

Or like Megan having to hide his White form. It wasn’t about who he was, but who he felt comfortable as. _Wally the straight catcaller._

He… He felt comfortable like this… He…

He felt that anger rise at him at the thought. Why couldn’t he just be normal? Why couldn’t he have friends who… _who what? Was he supposed to expect his friends to think a certain way?_

It was unfair. It was unfair that, if the situation was reversed, and there was a straight couple no one would even notice. It was unfair that people could presume to pressure someone into being private, like they were _wrong._

_But they_ are _wrong. They’re not normal… And, neither are you._

And that was the most unfair thing of all. Why couldn’t he just be _normal_? Why couldn’t he just be straight and not feel like this?  He’d tried. He’d really tried. After his father… He’d tried not to feel. He’d tried to be normal.

But shit like this keeps happening and Wally knows… He knows it’s just a matter of time before his friends find out and they’ll stop being his friends. Wally knows it won’t be easy. Maybe guys like Dick and Megan will remain friends.

But Artemis would be weirded out, and in the end he’ll be forced to leave…

“Is… Do you have a problem with them being both male?” Megan’s question threw him out of his thoughts. _Why couldn’t they just leave this subject be?_ _Just move on, Please._ “I, I’ve read in the books on Earth about this. In Mars, we shapeshift, so relationships are not defined by gender, more about feelings and individual traits. I… I know humans do it differently.” _Ha._ That’s an understatement. Humans have killed, kept in concentration camps and shunned into the shadows to those who don’t _define their relationships by gender._

Artemis looked at Megan apparently surprised. Like she hadn’t expected the question. It’s normal. Most people don’t question preconceptions. It’s why the pre-‘s there for. Artemis then sighed and raised her hands in surrender. “Look, it’s not like that, ok? I just don’t wanna see them kissing in the middle of the street. It’s not about…”

“Them being gay.” It took him a second to realize he’d been the one to speak. But he was tired. So tired. And angry. And Artemis blasé attitude was getting to him. So he didn’t even tried to stop the next words coming out of his mouth, keeping the same cool attitude. “Maybe it’s about the fact that you’re a homophobe.” He offered with the wooden spoon thingy in his mouth.

He wasn’t looking at Artemis. He wasn’t looking at anyone. He was barely feeling like he was here, but he was so tired. _Why did they had to be like this? Why couldn’t he have something like they do in the movies? Supporting friends._

“What? No. I’m not…” Artemis sounded like he’d slapped her. Good. She should. Her attitude was costing him his friends. Why should she feel anything _but_ hurt?

So he just stood there, not seeing his friends’ stunned faces, nor noticing how much his detached attitude was affecting them as he replied her. “Not what? Because you just scoffed at them as if they were doing something to _personally_ offend you.”

And this time he felt the anger swipe into his words. _God, he was so tired._

“Walls…” Dick was looking at him, confused but… there was something in his posture. Wally had become an expert on reading Dick without needing to look at his eyes, but this was new. Artemis stood up looking at him “Come on, Walls. You’re completely spinning my point. It’s not about them being gay…” He wanted to scoff… _Of course, it isn’t._ He’d heard this a couple times before too. He stood too looking at her dead in the eyes.

“It’s about them being _public_ about it.” He said with enough venom in his voice he was probably going to end up chased by Bane. Heh, he allowed himself a small mental chuckle at that.

Artemis opened her eyes and looked equal parts ashamed and angry “No. Would you let me speak?” she screamed and he scoffed, she did too and moved the hair from her face as she said exasperated. “God, Wally, What, now you´re gonna ask them to let you join?”

An image of Dick’s beautiful pink lips pressed against his lips came to the front of his mind, and he couldn’t help the two words that escaped his lips. “I wish”

It was a soft murmur. Not a huge statement. It, honestly didn’t even had to be about his sexuality, but as soon as he realized he’d said them, his brain froze. And everyone’s eyes zeroed in on him and Wally felt the pressure on his chest increase exponentially. _No. No. No. nononon…._

“What?” Wally couldn’t hear who said it. His ears were ringing and the beach suddenly was too hot, and there was too little air, and he took a step back because Artemis was saying those words. The words he’d hate to hear out of everyone’s mouth. “Wally… Is… are you…?” The words got lost in the background noise. He needed to answer… any answer…

_No… Of course not…_ He could say that.

_Or scoff. Scoffing is a negation._

_Just… snort and look affronted…_

_Just…_

But he couldn’t do anything… He just stood there. Looking at Artemis’ huge eyes, looking at him, surprise filling every inch of them. And Wally couldn’t lie. He couldn’t answer but he was unable to lie. Not anymore, so he just took a step back looking like all the air in the beach had disappeared.

“A… Are you gay?” Wally turned to look at Dick… Dick. His best friend, who was looking at him with evident surprise in his face, despite the sunglasses. He could see it in his mouth, in his breath, in the way his head stilled. Wally swallowed hard. This was wrong.

It wasn’t supposed to happen. The Team wasn’t supposed to find out. Not like this. Not this _Wrong_.

And Dick wasn’t supposed to look at him like this. Surprised. Probably disgusted under the sunglasses. _Wrong._

They all were looking at him _wrong_. Surprised. Disgusted. Like they all hated him.

This was wrong. So, wrong. Totally wrong. _Wrongwrongwrongwrong_.

 “Oh, my god, Wally… I didn’t…” Wally looked at them one last time. And then he ran.

-_-_-_-_-

He didn’t knew why he ended up here. He hadn’t come to this place since the Team had started. The Cave had become his new favorite spot for hiding from Barry, and Central City was perfect for hiding from the Team.

But he wanted to hide from both the Team AND Barry, so he’d come to their house on Keystone, the house on Lake St… He hadn’t visited in over two years.

And Wally was currently slumped against the door of what had once upon a time been his room. Now a dark charcoaled room, a result of a fire ten years ago.

Back when everything was fine. Back when he had a family that loved him, a hero in the family he could worship, friend in a school that didn’t flinched when they saw him…

Back when being a hero was a nice dream, and the dream hadn’t caught flames.

Back when he was normal.

Back when his friends didn’t hated him.

What could they be _thinking_? He’d lied to them… All this time. He’d hid this part of him. He’d tried to act normal, he’d tried to hide his deviation from them and overcompensated flirting with Megan.

God, Megan. She must hate him. She must think he’s disgusting.

He, who’d tried to flirt with her since day one. Only to pretend. To feel normal. To try and make himself appear _straight._ But now she knew the truth. Now she knew he was faking it. And she must hate him for it. For using her to hide who he really was. What he really was… A deviant.

‘ _You’re disgusting. I raised you well… How can you turn out so wrong?_ ’

Wally whimpered as he brought his legs to his chest. His father’s words played themselves in his mind over and over again, and he felt them press against his chest, forcing the tears to pool on his eyes. _Failure. Freak. Failure. Disgusting. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._

He stayed there, not really thinking about anything, trying to come up with scenarios in his mind about what to do. Where to go. How to move forward, but he kept going over the scene at the beach. God, it was stupid. He was stupid. Why did he had to say anything? Why couldn’t he just pretend? Like always.

Wally didn’t realized he’d fallen asleep until he’s being awaken by a hand in his shoulder. He looked up slowly recognizing the voice calling him awake. He wasn’t surprised to see his Uncle, but he was surprised to see his _Uncle._ Not _The_ _Flash._

“Wally? What happened, kiddo?” Barry was looking down at him, taking in everything about his face. Wally imagined he was painting a rather pathetic picture of himself, slumped in the floor of his burnt childhood room, in summer beach clothes covered in grime and at least a decade’s worth of dust. He imagined his eyes were also red and puffed, although they were probably right, considering the fact that the sun was really low outside. He must have slept the afternoon off.

His Uncle was looking around and he moved closer to him. Kneeling on the dusty floor. “Wally, what is it?” he asked again. And Wally tried, he tried to open his mouth but it stayed closed. His teeth refusing to part. “Please say something.” Barry said, and he sounded so worried. Wally knew he could trust his uncle. He’d proven time and again his faith and love for him. Wally could say anything to him, and his Uncle would have his back.

Wally had joked once to him that he’d let it get away with murder, and his Uncle had said that if it came to that he wouldn’t let him off the hook, but he’d be with him, by his side through it all. Wally had cried that night, feeling his heart swallow in his chest replaying those words in his mind. Having someone willing to be with him like that… having _family_.

He sighed, feeling the warmth of his Uncle’s hand on his shoulder, of his presence near him. “They know” he said. His uncle looked up to him, and Wally knew the sentence hadn’t meant anything to him so he elaborated. “The Team?”

His uncle tilted his head and asked again “What does the Team know?” he pressed. And Wally felt a tightness in his throat. He… he couldn’t say the words… so he just repeated. “They _know_ ” He hoped the emphasis would be enough, and the pressure of his throat had moved to his eyes and he felt a tear trail down his cheek.

And then, it was as if the pressure was gone and the words just flowed through him. “They hate me. Artemis hates me. She… She’ll… They all, they’ll kick me out. God, why did I had to say anything? All I had to do was staying quiet. But I… she was acting so… and I though… I thought I could just say something but… Then she knew… She knew and they all… They’ll kick me out. Uncle B, they’re my only friends and… I… I can’t lose them… Not them. Not Dick.”

He was aware enough to realize he was having a mild breakdown. His words were blurring, his hands were vibrating and his mind wasn’t working properly… Or more precisely, it wasn’t controlling his body properly, because he was fairly certain he was reasoning just enough to realize this.

His uncle moved closer to him trying to hold him and making a repetitive soothing caress on his shoulder blades. He realized he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying and was more focused on trying to calm him down, so he shut up and tried to regulate his breathing.

After a couple of seconds, his Uncle talked again. “Wally. They’re not kicking you out. I don’t care what they said, or what they _know_. They love you, kiddo.” He was looking at him, or trying to make eye contact, Wally was aware of this, but his sight was focused on the floor. Not daring to look at his Uncle in the eyes. He didn’t wanted him to see the failure his nephew was.

He took a deep breath and then chuckled darkly “So did my father.” Wally said remembering the words his father had said a couple years ago.

His uncle stopped rubbing circles on his shoulders, and Wally could almost hear the moment he pieced it together. “Wait… They found out… you’re gay?” Barry said softly, slowly. And Wally nodded. God, he hated people saying those words about him. “You hadn’t told them?”

Wally heard the confusion in his uncle’s voice but he looked up and looked at him, disbelieving, _Of course not._ “What?” he asked instead.

His uncle looked off-put and had his brow furrowed looking at him confused. “I… I thought…” _I thought you’d told them._

Wally felt a little attacked at that. Like he was being judged by it.  “Why would I tell them? The only reason they accept me is because they think I’m straight… I…”

His uncle backed a little at that part and started saying “Wally, it’s been almost a year. You…” Then he shook his head and Wally realized what he meant. _How could you lie to them for a year?_ But he seemed to notice that judging him was probably making him feel even shittier, so he changed the topic, and Wally thanked him for it… he was aware of how much of an asshole he must seem for keeping this from them… They had a right to know who they were being friends with…

But Wally couldn’t continue down that road, because his uncle kept talking. “Walls, they don’t hate you. Actually, the only reason I came here was because Robin called, he was hysteric saying something about you bolting and removing your tracker. They’ve got the Team and half the JL looking for you.”

“What?” _Robin called… the JLA… for him._ Even though he’d lied… He…

“Yeah. Which reminds me…” His Uncle took a communicator out of his pocket and put it in his ear and started talking through it. “Hi. Yeah. He’s here. Yes Robin, he’s fine. No. I don’t think that’s… No Superboy… I… Yeah I’ll… No, Artemis… Fine… One at a time please. No. No, that’s… No… Ugh. Fine.” Wally looked at his uncle disbelieving. He… He’d mentioned at least three of his teammates, and if his uncle wasn’t acting for his sake, it sounded like they were pressing him for information and talking over each other. His uncle was losing patience quickly and at the end he took out the piece and passed hit to him “Here.”

Wally looked at the communicator in his uncle’s hand and up to him once again. _He wants me to talk to them._ “No” He said moving away. His uncle rolled his eyes and said with a shrug “Look, it’s either this, or having the whole squad crashing here.”

Wally looked back at the communicator. _Talk to them…_ He can’t do it. He can’t. Not this soon. He can hear them judging him for not telling them the truth. Mocking him for running away…

Being sick of him because of _what_ he is.

He…

But his uncle said they were worried. He said they’d sent for him. Even right now, they looked worried by the way his Uncle had talked to them. He swallowed and took the device and put it in his ear.

It was eerily silent. “Hi?” he risked.  Immediately, the line went live as four voices clashed against each other, but Wally was able to identify everyone.

“Wally. Oh my god. You can’t run away like that” Megan _._

“Wally, are you ok?” Kaldur _._

“Where are you?” Dick… _God. Dick sounds so hurt._

“Kid, you ruined my perfect vacation this whole drama better be worth it.” Roy. He wasn’t part of the trip. Someone must have tipped him off. Wally was about to reply to him when a fifth voice cut.

“Wally…” That last one… He swallowed hard. “Artemis...” He whispered before he could say anything, and it was like a spell had been lifted because she poured on.

“Wally I’m so sorry. I… Please, forgive me. I… God, this is such a mess.” She sounded desperate and Wally could see her fidgeting with her hands on the bow and trying hard and getting frustrated because she couldn’t get her words out. “It wasn’t like that, I swear. Please come back and let me talk to you. Set this straight… Ugh. No, that… I… I mean” He almost chuckled at that. He actually believed she hadn’t meant a double entendre there. But the line went dead and he thought he might have made a sound.

He suddenly realized they expected him to talk. Talk to her…. He… No. He can’t. He’s not ready. He can’t confront them and realize his time with his only friends was over. Once he went there it would be over. Wally was not ready for that.  Yes, they were worried, but from there to being accepting…He can’t.

“I… I can’t right now, but… I’ll be by the cave later… maybe tomorrow.” He said softly. Artemis seemed to choke at those words but then a second voice cut again.

“Are you ok?” Dick… Again. He… “I… yeah. I am. I’m fine.” He lied. _Again_. His mind supplied and Wally felt sick again. “I have to go, ok?” he said moving to take the communicator out and turn it off.

“I… I’ll wait for you here.” He heard Artemis’ voice before he passed his earpiece back to his Uncle and he put an end to the conversation quickly.

Wally looked down again and tried to even out his breathing. Suddenly the weight of his promise fell heavy on him. Tonight… Maybe tomorrow. He’ll go to the Cave tonight and maybe tomorrow… He…

It’ll be over then. He will be asked to leave for lying. They’ll act all nice and politically correct and then he’ll be kicked to the curve as soon as they can.

And he’ll be back to being the lonely kid that runs next to the Flash.

Which on its own was an awesome thing… More than he deserved that’s for sure… but after tasting what it felt like to work with a Team. To be part of something greater and having people relying on him and being able to rely on others… He didn’t think he could do it…

 “You’re a crappy liar, kiddo.” He looked up to his uncle and tilted his head questioningly. One raised eyebrow and he realized he was talking about the _fine_ thing. Still, he remembered a conversation a couple years back and tried a smile “You said that was a good quality on a hero.”

His uncle smiled at him and nodded “It is. Terrible for a nephew who wants to be left alone, though.” He put a hand back on Wally’s shoulder and Wally realized he did want to be left alone. He wanted to be able to think and break a little without an audience. “I…”

But his uncle shook his head. “I’ll leave.” He promised “But… Kiddo, I’m not happy about this. You shouldn’t have to hide who you are. I… I’d assumed you’d told them ages ago. They’re your friends and they won’t think less of you because of this. And if they do, they don’t deserve to be your friends.” Wally snorted at that and his Uncle put both his hands on Wally’s shoulders to convey how serious he was about this. Not that he needed to, Wally could see it clearly in his eyes.

“You need to be honest with yourself. With who you are. You’re an amazing kid, and an even better hero. You deserve to be happy and not having to hide a part of you. And you’ll always have me and your aunt, and the rest of your Flash family.” Before he realized what was happening he was being enveloped in a hug and Wally didn’t realized how much he needed that until he felt the warmth and fast heartbeat of his Uncle against his. He closed his eyes and let his head rest on his Uncle’s shoulder.

They stayed like this for a couple seconds before his Uncle moved back and stood up. “And the Team. I’ve hear what you think of them. I’ve known them. I work with their mentors. They’ll see the amazing kid you are and will embrace you as you are. You’ll see.” He flashed him a smile and got him to promise he’ll call when he left and he’ll keep him updated about sleeping arrangements. And he’d promised that he’ll sleep at the house tomorrow night at the latest and they’ll have a fast-food feast.

Wally smiled and waved his uncle goodbye feeling the mood lighter and with hope restored in his heart. His uncle wasn’t wrong about the need to be himself. The only problem is that the “himself” he wanted to be, and the one he was were two very different persons. He wanted to be the Kid Flash. He wanted to be part of the Team. He wanted to be accepted. _Normal._

A Normal meta-human.

He chuckled at that… he wasn’t too normal to begin with either… The part that he liked the most about himself was also the part that set him aside further from _normalcy._

Wally walked up and down his room unable to find an answer as the place grew darker. He sighed and dropped himself in the wooden floor, taking in the smell of old wood and dust. He closed his eyes concentrating about what he must do.

He sighed and wondered back to the idea of the Team accepting him.

His Uncle seemed _too_ certain about it. Being a Flash he had a tendency to be too hopeful, and that gave him a skewed vision of reality. Wally was all about reality, about pragmatism and not being overly optimistic, or pessimistic. Just a realist.

And reality was Arty didn’t liked that part of him. And Conner and Kaldur probably wouldn’t either. And there were many, many cases of people being _ok_ with gay people, as long as _their people_ weren’t gay. So he wasn’t sure how Dick and Megan would react either. Roy, Rocket and Zee were also unknowns in this.

“Smells funny here.” Wally felt his heart jump in his chest and electricity run through his veins making him sit and turn in a single move to see the owner of the voice that talked way to close to him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to find Dick looking at him, sunglasses off, raising an eyebrow. The _imp_ had managed to sit two feet from him before speaking. “ _Holy…_ Shit, Dick.” He screamed taking a hand to his chest and trying to calm his racing heart “What are you doing here?” he asked currently forgetting everything that had happened and just focusing on shutting down his fight-of flight response.

“Looking for you.” Said Dick not even worrying to hide the amusement in his voice “What are _you_ doing here?” he asked looking around. Wally moved back into a sitting position facing Dick before answering. “This is my hiding spot” he said with a shrug

Dick raised an eyebrow as he looked around “No offense, KF.” He said signaling around him “Your hiding spot is a dump.” Wally chuckled at that. _Fair enough_. But it meant something to him. Even if it was a dump. A burnt dump.

“I used to live here.” He said looking around and letting himself be taken by nostalgia “With mom and dad. Before… Before the accident. When I was a little kid. Heatwave burnt half the neighborhood when I was seven, so we were forced to move. I don’t remember much of this place, but… I remember it was nice. I was happy here.”

He was. It was before his life became a shit show.

Dick took it all in and looked around taking the place in a second light. “So, this is _your_ circus tent.” He said.

Wally was lost for a second and then remembered Dick talking to him about how he liked to go to circus tents in fairs and sit there, feeling calm and safe for a while. “Kinda…” he said. It did gave him the same feeling Dick had talked about. He looked around his room “Yeah. My circus tent. I like that.” He said looking around.

They stayed silent for a couple seconds. Silence with Dick usually felt easy, he was the one normally needing to speak his mind about everything, so when he stayed silent it felt odd, like something was missing. But with Dick, that same silence sat right with him. Now, though, it was pressing him. Like he was letting him down just by being quiet. The problem was that speaking would lead to them talking, and talking meant confronting what had happened.

“The Team’s worried” Dick said after a couple seconds, looking at his eyes, and challenging him to move his gaze. “Dick. Don’t.” he pleaded. Another thing he only did to Dick. He didn’t cared. Dick would usually submit to his pleadings and never, not once, held it against him.

But this time he just looked downcast “I’m worried” he said, not looking at him. Playing with his sunglasses.

“D.” he said in a warning tone. _Don’t start with this, please. Just forget it_.

“Artemis’ feeling like shit, you know?” He said ignoring him, and Wally felt guilt gnawing at him, but still managed to huff a little. She _was_ the one that had started this. Dick kept with his gaze fixed on the sunglasses “And I feel kinda like the shittiest friend ever. Heh. I mean… My best friend’s been bottling up his feelings for who knows how long, and I never noticed. Not once. You’re supposed to be a bad actor, with your mouth running over your brain. Unable to keep a secret, and then, _boom_. You drop the mother of all bombs on us. A _G_ -bomb.” He finished raising his eyebrows in an over the top exposition.

Wally felt his mouth run dry. “I… Dick, I… I couldn’t… I’m sorry.”

“You _should_ be” Dick said looking at him, a little anger and a lot of disappointment in those big blue eyes that were just clawing under his skin. Dick stood and started moving around “ _So_ not cool, dude. Why didn’t you tell me, Walls? I… Because I’ve been rattling my brains over this one, and I can only come up with one reason why you wouldn’t tell me… And it’s because you didn’t trust me enough for it. But that couldn’t be, because we’re not just friends Walls. We’re _Best_ friends. Like, Capital B. Bold and underlined.” He’d stopped in front of him, after walking the length of the room moving his hands to emphasize his words, something he did when he was getting frustrated. At the end he’d just moved his hands in an underlining motion with a frown in his face and Wally smiled sadly at him.

“We were…” he started, and Dick cut him angrily, closing the distance between them and being practically in his face. “Were? Dude, we **are**. Don’t you dare start… _past-tensing_ me. I’m right here.” He poked Wally in the forehead and he let the motion move him and fall on his back, looking at the ceiling. And stayed there for a couple seconds, while Dick turned and laid on his back next to him.

“Are we?...” he said after letting the tears on his eyes dry inside and he no longer felt like he’d cry if he so much as blinked, and mustering the courage to ask the question that was begging to be out on the open… or buried under tons of denial “you still wanna be friends with me?” he asked softly, not worrying if he was being heard. He knew Dick did. “Even if I’m… I’m a… you know?” he said, refusing to say the word.

“A what?” Dick asked a little aggressively. “A gay man?”  Dick huffed after Wally nodded slowly “Walls, I don’t care. I wouldn’t. I would be a horrible friend if I let that factor into our friendship” Wally let that sink in, but wasn’t able to study it for too long, before Dick dropped a bomb on him “Not to mention terribly hypocritical.” Wally turned his head to the side so fast he could see the remnants of lighting on his side. _What?_

He tried to verbalize that question, but his throat decided to close on him. His face must have been enough because Dick chuckled lowly, a sound that waved itself to his bones and left him shivering. “See… As my BFF, you were supposed to be the second person I was going to tell this…” Dick bit his lip and turned to look at him “I came out to Bruce.” _What?_

“What?” _So, I can still talk, that’s good._

“As Bi…” Dick added, still looking at him, and his eyes were so unusually open that Wally had a hard time concentrating on anything different. Dick’s gay. No, he’s bi… he _also_ likes men. He… “You’re… Bisexual.” He said again, the question very patent on his voice.

“Yeah. I mean, I guess I am. At least, I’m not totally straight.” He looked up to the ceiling again, but Wally was unable to move away, to keep from staring. Dick _likes men. Dick likes men. Oh my God, Dick likes_ men _. What if… Oh, don’t go there. Don’t you dare hope…_ “You see, I have this huge crush on a certain friend of mine. A very cute, very _male_ friend.”

_There goes the hope._

Wally didn’t let the burning on his heart distract him from the basic revelation. Dick likes men and he’s bi, and his best friend is like him. Well, not like him exactly because as far as Wally can tell he doesn’t like women. He wouldn’t be on this mess if he could just choose not to like men, and focus on women.

Dick could… Dick could just date women and forget about anything else. Hide the part of him that feels attracted to men. And still… He told Bruce… And he’s telling him…

That he’s bi.

_Dick likes men…_

Wally realized he’d stayed there staring at his best friend and swallowed barely realizing how dry his mouth was.

“Oh. I… I didn’t knew” he said replying what he hoped sounded like an appropriate answer and not something a pinning gay man would say to his previously undisclosed bisexual crush. _God, I’m overthinking again._

Dick didn’t seemed to mind though, because he just shrugged “Duh. I’m just telling you. Plus, he doesn’t either. I… I’m still gathering the courage to tell him.” he said. Wally held his breath. Dick was pinning on a guy too. He can relate to that.

“Is he…” he tried to ask, but the word kept refusing to leave his mouth. Luckily, Dick seemed to have borrowed Megan’s telepathy today. “Gay? Yeah, pretty sure. Wasn’t too sure about it, but some _things_ have come out recently.” He said cryptically. He remembered his own _coming out,_ the first one and flinched, hopefully this guy’s hadn’t been as catastrophic as his.

“Don’t know if he likes me though.” Dick said with a wishful voice and Wally swallowed his pride and decided to be a good friend and forget about the crush thing. Dick needed a friend, and he was opening up to him in a way _he_ had been too much of a chicken to try it.

“He’ll be an idiot not to like you” he said moving to bump Dick’s shoulder with his own. Dick smiled and looked at him with a weird look that Wally chose to ignore. “I don’t care who he is. He’s lucky to have _the_ Richard Grayson swooning over him.” Dick laughed at that and pushed him a little which Wally returned with a little too much force and ended up making him roll and wake a cloud of dust that forced them to stand up and go for the window.

“You think you’ve got a chance?” he asked after he was able to breathe properly again. Dick looked out the window and smiled “Well… He’s a bit aloof, you know. I can’t tell if he’s uninterested or just oblivious.”

Wally hummed and looked down the empty street. Night had properly fallen and the empty neighborhood had acquired an eerie feeling. _Not interested_ Wally found it impossible for any gay man their age to be uninterested in Richard Grayson. He was kind of the king of gay-teen fantasies, if his internet searches and anon-forum conversation were anything to go by.

It wasn’t just the money and tragic backstory that was public knowledge, it was the cute face and the tight body that was starting to show. Even now, Wally could see Dick would grow up to be a _very_ good looking man.

_Positively yummy_ had said a girl on a post he’d seen a couple days back.

He whole heartedly agreed.

Because if Dick was a dream come true from afar. From up close and personal, Dick was simply perfect. He looked like a prince from a children’s book. Charming, funny, witty, perfect friend. Sensible and understanding.

_Good God, Wallace reign in the crush a little_.

He was barely able to restrain himself from grinning. Reign it in? Hah. After finding out he’s bi… Wally was certain any chances of forgetting and moving past his crush were as burnt as his room.

“What is it?” He turned to look at Dick, who was standing right next to him reclined against the frame of the window. He looked at Perfect Richard Grayson and sighed.

“It… Isn’t it weird to you? Being… not normal.” He asked. He could have just walked away from this mess. He didn’t needed the shit show that came with coming out to society. Dick laughed hard and deep

“I dress as a bird and fight crime barehanded. Not normal isn’t weird for me. _Not_ _normal_ is _my_ normal. And who’s to say what’s normal, anyway?” he finished with what was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but Wally still answered him. “Most people”

“What?” he said looking at him, and Wally just turned and elaborated “Normal is what most people consider normal. Whatever fits within the inflection points of a Gaussian distribution is _normal_.” He shrugged at the end at Dick’s ‘ _are you serious?’_ face.

“Dude… That’s _statistics_.” He said like it was a bad word and Wally laughed. _I though detectives loved statistics._ “It’s science.” He said instead.

“Well, get into _social_ sciences.” Dick said pushing him a little “ _Normal_ doesn’t apply to social interactions. Plus, how do you make a scale for sexual orientation to put in a plane for a _Gaussian distribution_? What, is there a _scale of gayness_?” he asked, again, rhetorically. And again, Wally answered him. “I think there is. _Kinsey_ scale, I believe, it seeks to measure…”

“Ugh” Dick said turning into the room and throwing his hands in the air “Dude, there’s _over_ thinking. And then there’s what you’re doing. That’s like _supra_ -thinking.” Wally rolled his eyes. _That’s not a word, you… Dick._ Before he had time to say anything, though, Dick turned and faced him “There’s nothing _abnormal_ about you. About us. And _no one cares_. Not really. And those who do, you don’t need to care about.” He said. Wally scoffed. Dick didn’t knew that. He hadn’t come out. Not really. He hadn’t tasted the social bullshit of being gay.

He’d only had two experiences, and both had been positive. He was lucky.

He was lucky he had a foster parent that loved him enough not to hurt him over this.

To love him _despite_ this.

Wally looked at him and tried to consider if he should tell this to him. Before he could _supra-think_ it, he asked with perhaps too much force. “Like my parents?”

“What?” Dick looked off-put and Wally took the chance. He’ll tell Dick. He’ll show him what happened when people saw you as a gay man. He’ll… Maybe he’ll think it twice before going through the deep end and go out telling people he’s bisexual. He could just keep it quiet and settle with a woman, and be the perfect son…

_He_ could still do it.

“I… I kinda lied to you… About why I left my house.” he said resting his hips on the window frame and looking at Dick, standing still in the middle of his burnt childhood room. A beautiful man standing in a broken place. _Fitting_. “I said it was because they didn’t wanted to deal with a meta… It’s… They didn’t wanted to deal with a _gay_ meta. It was too much for dad. He…” He looked back to the room. He’d already left this place behind by then, when it happened. But still, being here, it brought the images back to the front of his mind.

“It happened on the 8th grade. The last week before winter break. I… I was dealing with being 14 and having my powers and… Turns out, accelerated metabolism also means accelerated hormones.” He was getting ahead. He closed his eyes and organized his thoughts “I… there was this guy. Black hair, white skin, really blue eyes… really cute.” _It kind of reminded me of you._ “I was walking out of classes and he… well, he was being harassed, I didn’t knew why, but you know me, can’t really stop myself. Turns out the kid’s gay too. _Out and Proud_. I… I didn’t realize… Not that I wouldn’t have helped him if I did” he added quickly seeing Dick’s face at his clarification.

“Anyway… I got between them and… well. I ended up in the Principal’s Office, locked in with him and he was being so nice to me… Before I realized, we were kissing there, waiting for Principal Klain to come back with our parents. As I said, accelerated hormones. Anyway, as you can imagine, they all entered the place. As we kissed.” He smiled sadly remembering the ride of hormones as the guy kissed him back, way too experienced for him, how amazing it felt; and then the crash as he heard a gasp on the door. Wally wanted to vibrate himself into the ground.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Dad went white, and then red. He didn’t say a word in the whole meeting. Not even while the Principal asked him questions. After that we went home and… And he said…” ‘ _You’re disgusting. I raised you well… How can you turn out so wrong?_ ’ Wally remembered the words, they’d etched into his soul, but Dick didn’t needed to hear that. He… Not that, not all the other things. Not about the adoption…  “He said he didn’t wanted me. That I was a disappointment. That I wasn’t supposed to be his son. He…” Wally swallowed and did nothing to prevent the tears coming down. “I was a wreck. Uncle B noticed, of course he did. They came home with me. He and Aunt Iris. I’ve never seen Aunt I that mad. She was screaming at my dad… He… He just stood there. He said if she was so proud about me, why didn’t she took me in. She did. I ended up living with my aunt.” He shrugged again.

It was his life. A string of disappointments. Dick moved closer and surprised Wally when he drew him into a hug. And as it had happened with his Uncle, Wally just melted into it although he didn’t tried to return it, a part of his brain warning him against it. “Walls, I’m so sorry. I thought. I thought you stayed with them because it was easier… I… I never… That’s not fair. It’s not fair to you.” He sounded angry, and Wally couldn’t help the smile in his face. Of course Dick would felt personally insulted by any wrong done to him. It was the Best Friend prerogative.

Dick separated from him far too early and looked at him, his eyes were wet, like he was at the brink of tears and Wally felt his heart warm up at that, and then it swollen to unsuspecting extents when he said the next words. “You’re an awesome person. Best I know. I… You’re my favorite person in this world, and I know both Batman AND Superman.”

Wally laughed at that and poked Dick on the side. “I thought Alfred was your favorite person in the world.”

Dick shrugged “He’s being replaced.” He said and hugged him again, and Wally didn’t even tried to stop himself from returning it full force. “You really think the Team’s gonna be ok with me being… being gay.” He said, finally saying the words out loud.

“Yes, they will.” Dick said with enough force, like he would challenge anyone that wouldn’t and Wally smiled at him. But then the whole thing replayed on his head. “Even Arty?”

“Oh, she better.” Dick said with a soft voice “But you should give her the benefit of the doubt. I overheard her talking to Zee, and I think you should talk to her.” _That’s cryptic._

Wally nodded and moved away from Dick. He immediately regretted it as a draft of wind came in and shook him, reminding his mind that he was in a Polo shirt, Bermudas and flip-flops.

“Time to go to the Cave” Dick announced in a deep overly dramatic voice, after noticing him shivering.

Wally took a deep breath and nodded “To face the Dragon” he said in a similar overdramatic voice. Dick laughed and jumped on his back startling him. Wally thanked years of training that prevented him from falling on his face.

“Onwards my noble steed” Dick said with a laugh and Wally went with it, grabbing Dick’s legs and running towards the Keystone Zeta Tube.

-_-_-_-_-_

“B01 – Robin; B03 – Kid Flash”

The announcement system in the Cave sounded painfully high in Wally’s ears as his body materialized into the room. He allowed himself a second to breathe as he braced himself walking into the Mission Room. He heard a ruckus down at the kitchen and half a second later Megan came flying towards him saying his name. She enveloped him in a hug while she said something about being worried.

He smiled and said “Now this is what I call a welcome, beautiful”. She flashed him a smile, and he saw Dick frown behind him. He forced himself not to let the smile fail him as he looked up to see Conner looking at him with a weird face and Roy, Kaldur, Zatana an Artemis behind him. All looking at him weird.

He cleared his throat and he ended scratching the back of his neck.  “I… I owe you all an apology. I shouldn’t have run like that.” He said looking at everyone with a tentative smile in his face.

“No. Walls. I’m the one that owes an apology. I… I didn’t meant to sound…” Artemis started talking and Wally was surprised to hear her say that. He expected her to be mad at him, not sorry. Kaldur put a hand on Artemis’ shoulder and moved to the front. “Wait, Artemis. Perhaps it’s better if we move this to a more appropriate setting.” Wally looked around and nodded, Roy and Conner seconding him “Waterfall Room, Souvenirs or Lounge?” he asked.

They all looked at him and he thought for a second. He wanted a place where he could speak without a chance of someone overhearing him. He didn’t mind the eight of them, they went way back; even Zee. But if a Leaguer or any of the other visitors overheard them… Wally wasn’t ready for that.

“Waterfall, more private.” He said. They all left for it and all the time, he had Dick one step behind him, being a reassuring presence. He took a couple breaths to even his heart beat and moved into the room.

“So…” he said as everyone was seated. “I guess, I’ll start.” Wally said looking at the group.

“I…” he looked at Dick, who was just looking at him, a single nod was all he needed he took a deep breath “I’m gay” he said.

He hold his breath a couple seconds looking at everyone react… It was kind of _under_ whelming. “You’re very… whelmed.” He said earning a grin from Dick. Wally knew how proud he was of having that word catch on.

“Well… We kind of put that part together already.” Said Conner rolling his eyes.

“It was difficult to miss” added Kaldur.

“And, you’re ok with it?” Wally asked, a little nervous and hoping against hope that they would be. They were taking it so much better than his parents. So similar to how his uncle had… He dared himself to hope looking at all of them and definitely _not_ looking at Artemis who was just biting his lip.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Asked Zatanna looking at him intently.

“I…” Artemis tried to speak but Dick stopped him. “Arty, I know you want to talk to Wally, but…” he turned to look at him and he took of his sunglasses, with his back to the rest of the Team. “I think you need to tell them” And Wally opened his eyes because that wasn’t part of the deal. He’d confront his friends about being gay but… but his family’s problem wasn’t… It didn’t.

He knew where Dick was coming from. If his friends know about what his parents said to him, they would probably understand better why telling them was so hard for him… But… But he didn’t wanted his friends’ pity.

He shook his head. _They wouldn´t. They´d support him._

He knew they _would_.

He took a deep breath again and nodded at Dick who put his sunglasses back on.

“I… I kind of already came out to my parents. Couple years back.” He bit his lip. He wasn’t about to bare his soul like he’d done to Dick. They were his friends, and he’d die for them, but they weren’t Dick. So he stuck to the abbreviated version.

“They didn’t… took it too well.” Dick snorted angrily and it made Wally smile internally and gave him the strength needed to continue “They kicked me out of the house and sent me to live with my uncle.” He finished quickly trying to say it as neutrally as possible.

Wally was expecting nodding faces and pity. He didn’t expected two full seconds of silent disbelief and dropped jaws followed by indignant shouting. Wally didn’t knew who was the first one to speak, but he believes it was Roy’s ‘ _What?’_ , followed closely by Conner’s ‘ _you’re kidding, right’_ and Artemis’ far more colorful expletives.

Two seconds later, they were all shouting and cussing all demanding explanations, and Wally’s shell-shocked self could barely make two or three comebacks.

Dick, God bless his soul, took over for him and explained briefly what had happened, without going into detail. Wally looked at his friends and felt a warm sensation cover his body as he saw his friends fighting over how unfair it was and getting more and more angry at this. Wally never even thought about feeling angry. It didn’t factor in his brain that anger was an appropriate response to disappointing your parents.

Now, he was starting to believe that it should have been. That aunt I was right. That maybe he deserved to be supported, regardless of how he felt. He shook those thoughts away to ponder on another day. He cleared his throat after a couple seconds, when Roy started planning a visit to Keystone.

_Better stop this now_

“So… I guess you see why today was particularly hard… you, finding out like this.” He said looking at them with a small smile. _Like this._ As in… I would have told you when I was ready. _Another lie._ But looking at them right now, it probably wouldn´t have been. If Dick had really came out to Bruce, he probably would have gone to the Team. And then, he’d probably seen their reaction and bid his time.

He caught a glimpse of a quick eye-exchange between Artemis and Dick, and Artemis stood up “My turn” she said and Wally braced himself. “I caused this and it was all a big misunderstanding. I… I’m sorry I made you feel like this… I had no idea.”

She sighed and shook her head, probably rearranging her thoughts. “So. I guess you’ve noticed I’ve been a bit of an ass lately” Kaldur huffed crossing his arms, he’d taken the whole flaming arrow way too seriously. Artemis just ignored him. “Truth is… I’ve been dating this guy from Gotham Academy, we’ve kept it secret so far. Anyway, we’ve been having trouble lately, he… well he wants to go public, and I’m not comfortable with that.” Wally looked around the room and was happy to see that at least three of those faces were as surprised as him.

_Artemis was dating someone._ _IN SECRET._

This was the kind of gossip he lived for in this Team, how come he hadn’t known about this. He looked at the unsurprised faces. Obviously Zee and Megan were in on it; but Dick. Fuck, Dick knew Artemis had a _boyfriend_.

_How?_

Then he connected the dots.

_GA_. A guy in Dick’s school. That’s how he knew… _  
_

He knew and he didn’t shared. _What the hell, DICK?_

He wasn’t able to ponder more about it, as Artemis looked directly at him as she continued “Public display of affections… they kind of tick me off. And seeing those guys… it… It had nothing to do with them being gay. I swear I… I have nothing against it. Heck, I’m Oliver Queen’s protégé; the _old lefty from Star City._ I… I don’t share many of his traits, but that’s one I whole-heartedly agree with.” Roy nodded along with her. And Wally smiled.

“I… thank you for saying that Arty. It… It means a lot to know you... Any of you… That you don’t mind...” He said looking at them.

“Of course we don’t, Walls” Megan said with a smile and Wally smiled at her and got up for a hug, a quick look around the room showed him all his friends were smiling at him and he felt lightheaded and happy, though a little exposed at being the center of attention.

“So…” Dick said smiling and looking at his nails and Wally just knew what his friend was about to say and braced himself “You probably won’t mind I’m bi, then?” Wally was thrown back into the chair by a shocked Megan who was looking at Dick with big eyes and a shocked face.

A second of silence and then all hell broke loose.

_Way to steal my thunder, Dick._ He thought smiling at his friend as the others launched a barrage of questions at him.

He didn’t really mind.

If he was honest, he was glad the spotlight was off him, and if he knew Dick, it had probably been intentional.

Giving him time to compose himself while he handled his friends.

He smiled, he didn’t deserved Dick.

_God, I love you, D._


End file.
